My friend the mole rat

I was going to write something. But I think I'll start a novel instead. Another one. No one's awake when it's 3:11 am in Oregon. Anywhere apparently. At least, anywhere I know anyone. I get lonely sometimes. If I was a little kid, I'd make up people to talk to, and go on in some imaginary land that's always new and exciting. What happened to that place? Where did all my friends go? They must have all grown up too, and are out looking for me. I'm right here! I said. Right in front of you! Why can't you see me! I can't see you either, but I know you're there!

What does a mole rat do when it rains??

I know what it is:

I know I want to be him, but I know I'll never be able to.
...

I just watched Seven Pounds. I just don't know what to say. I feel like I want to talk with someone so bad. It's crazy. I don't even know how to say what I'm thinking right now. Someone watch it and get back to me. I feel like yelling out at everyone. 'Why?' How does anything make sense? I don't even know why I'm so confused right now. It's not even a complex subject. Everything does make sense, and maybe that's what's frustrating my perplexed mind. Or unperplexed, so unperplexed that it's not. Something so simple that it's complicated. I'm rolling around in circles inside myself, inside my head. I have something to get out, but I just can't put my finger on anything enough to put it together.

Maybe it's just the simple fact that I have no one to appreciate it with me, in the same way that I do. I can't be too complex for everyone.

------------------------------------------------

I feel better now.

080925

Work was fun today. Went up and met with Joe in Portland after hanging doorhangers for a planned outage this wednesday. We talked about different stuff related to possibilities at PGE during the six months I won't have any classes this year. It helped a bit. I got some contacts.
I almost finished a feeder out between Molalla and Woodburn, but I have maybe an hour left to do there. Hopefully I can get that and Liberal 13 done before the end of Wednesday, my last day.
Then I'm headin to J-Pan! And Guam, haha. Yeah, I'm excited, except for the little thing of where I'll be staying. I thought it'd be rude to ask to stay at people's houses, hoping that they would offer instead, haha. But then I decided that it's not rude at all. I would totally be fine with someone asking to come stay with me for a while or whatever. Heck, people were all last year, haha. So yeah, that's no big deal, but I wish I would have figured that out a week or so earlier. Then I wouldn't be trying to rush things so bad now. I do need to get better with this procrastination stuff. I am getting better though, slowly. Little by little, you know.
Also need to get better at waking up when I need to get up. I woke up at 5:45 just like I planned for this morning, but didn't get out of bed til 6:30 when my dad came down and told me it was already 6:30! Haha. I was half-dreaming that I already got up, hahaha.
Oh, I bought a Zune and I'm going to look into to training for the next olympics. Tony said we could do the marathon, but I'm definitely not down for that, haha. We'll see. At least I'm swimming and lifting. I hate not doing anything. Oh, and I need some new friends. If you're my friend and you happen to be reading this for some reason, you should probably get more active and spontaneous. I am, but it sucks doing awesome stuff by yourself with no one to be a part of it. So, don't be surprised if I'm out by myself up in Portland just walking around taking pictures or in Salem at the Waterfront just watching people or jumping over things. Man, I'm seriously getting freaking bored. Even drawing. If you're a drawer, let's do some com..whatever they're called. Let's get some people together and start sketching, pass it along or whatever and do stuff together.
By the way, I HATE VIDEO GAMES!!!
Alright, I'm gonna go clean the stuff and make some beer. Real beer. That DOESN'T taste like water.
Oh right, I need to write a song about needing to take care of someone. Like, having an older brother with down syndrome or who's a quadraplegic and can't do anything for himself or something like that. It'll be about this person who needs to be this other person's crutch, which gives them the focus they need in there life.

Your crutch, your stilt, your circley chair,
Whatever you need, I wanna be there,
You're the figure on my fireplace, the snowcap on my mountain,
I'll hold you up forever, Just don't bow out before the curtain...
Closes.

I'm back!

Hey, so I've been back now for a little while, about three or four months now. I don't write much because I always think I could be doing something better with my time during the day. Usually it turns out that I waste a lot of time staying in bed until the early afternoon, then when I can't get to sleep at night, you get to see some newish rantings spurred by an hour or so of craigslist browsing.
That'll be all for now. See you on the next sleepless night.

-N

Today it is raining.

I just found a full bottle of vodka and a can of chu-hi on my windowsill. I totally forgot about both of them.
It's raining right now.
Weather here is crazy, haha. Yesterday it was warm and sunny, today it's raining. And I guess it's even hotter and muggier back home.
School's been out since Tuesday because of a measles outbreak. Waseda is one of the three biggest school's in Japan, and they're not letting any students on campus or in any building.